"I think I need new contacts to read this teleprompter"
"Maybe these unnecessary pauses will heighten my feigned enthusiasm"
"I'm tired. How many bowls do I have to preview?"
"Ohio State isn't in the BCS? Buckeyes. Urban Meyer. THE OSU."
"Is this a tweed jacket? I asked for tweed!! Also, this tie is horrific"
"Hugh Freeze has an interesting name"
"BCS IS GREAT, BCS IS GREAT, BCS IS GREAT" - ESPN mind drone